Trojan Tamer Pillows

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Out of patience

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

The Terrible Forty-Twos

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Education Guidance

"She does this when she's tired."

Fly-fishing. - Favourable wind and the trout rising as fast as possible.

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

How very Independent!

"No screen time means more scream time."

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"So...what are you in for?"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"