Monster Tamer T-Shirts

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Litter Tray Training

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Parenting Business Deals

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Education Guidance

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'Where did we go wrong?'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

Circus Act

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

'Is that you, dear?'

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

Matador.