Beast Tamer T-Shirts

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Litter Tray Training

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

Education Guidance

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'Where did we go wrong?'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

Circus Act

I bake my own bread

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Is that you, dear?'

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

Matador.

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Tell me again why we are afraid of chairs.'