Monster Plant Tamer T-Shirts

"Run, Roslyn! Your kale is out of control!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Getting Rid of the Cure

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Education Guidance

"She does this when she's tired."

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"So...what are you in for?"

'Ah! This is the Texas I remember!'

In the houseplant cemetery.

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

'That's typical of Nigel - endangered specimens come first!'

"Other script ideas? Of course! I've been working on one about a killer plant and only your family and a lamp can stop it."

"This is what the city pays us for, DiAngelo!"

'OK, Son - put the glass over it and I'll slip the paper under it - then we can carry it out to the garden.'

"Spray me.""Trim me.""Prune me.""Mow me.""Weed me.""Fix me.""Paint me."

"When was the last time you cleaned the fridge?"

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

"I lost control of the mower and composted most of your garden."

Lets push tentacles he says Lets push tentacles! NOW look at the mess we're in...

Group of explorers with a lawn mower.