Triplet Tales Gifts

'Congratulations, Papa, Papa, Papa...'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

The Fourth Little Pig

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

"Writer's block?"

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'...And another thing, I am not your best friend, thats just an old wives' tale.'

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"Triple whammy."

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

'Well, your wife is now a den mother! You have triplets!'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

The giraffe-tamer.

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

If you think you have caught a record fish...make sure you have a witness...

"You consistently lied about the size of the fish you caught. Well....we've all done that."

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

Father imagining son with fish

Aesop's Fables - The Lion and the Mouse

'Robert's been very jumpy lately.'

Benefits of Living Abroad

Tall tales, short stories

'That doesn't look too good. You really should see a mouse about that.'

"You should've seen the one that got away."

I'm from Sleepy Hollow and haven't eaten in 240 years."

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'