Twin Tales Gifts

'I had a very lonely childhood. I was an only twin.'

Conjoined twins at the supermarket

The Fourth Little Pig

"It get it – you're hungry."

A Fairytale Update

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Midnight Basketball

'Wait a second, Dad...did the three little pigs have a home owner's policy to cover huffing and puffing?'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'He followed me home...Can I kiss him?'

"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Daddy's taking him to the woodshed, again!"

'They are known as 'The Magnificent Seven'!'