Trick-or-treat Titan Pillows

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Football.

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

Congratulations for male runner

It's academic

Pizza and Related Searches.

"And your Specialist Subject is 'Randomly Shouting Out Guesses to Questions You Know Nothing About'..."

Stop the big guy!

"I'm sorry but the correct answer is not 'I'm sorry if you feel offended.'"

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

"He's at that annoying age where they're always testing you."

'Things even God could not know - for $400, Alex.'

"I bet I'm the first one here."

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

Michael Schumacher

'Spinout!'

"Your track coach expects a speedy recovery."

Coffee Cartoon - Takeaway cup size.

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

Race car driver sees Pit crew member holding sign: Stop And Ask For Directions.

Moo Shoe Guy Pan.