Trial Separation Gifts

"Hey! How about giving me some benchmarks?"

"I said, 'How's the trial separation going for you?'"

"I just needed some 'me' time."

'I didn't realize how much I missed her until I ran out of clean clothes and dishes.'

An unhappily married amoeba undergoes a court ordered trial separation.

'I want a trial separation, Malcolm.'

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

A fool and his money, after counseling fails.

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

I love Lawyers

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He started it!'

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."