Trial Junkie Gifts

"That was fun. What time does the next trial of the century start?"

'Or, you could just stay up here until another big televised trial comes along.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Akme Legal Firm - Special! All you can Sue!

Trial by Media

Overjumpers

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"You can't plead cute."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Let's take in a trial."

Upholding the Law

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

Donald Trump

Closing arguments.

"I plead guilty, Your Honor, but only in a nice, white-collar sort of way."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury