Trial Junkie T-Shirts

"That was fun. What time does the next trial of the century start?"

'Or, you could just stay up here until another big televised trial comes along.'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Akme Legal Firm - Special! All you can Sue!

Trial by Media

Overjumpers

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"You can't plead cute."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

Stephen King

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Upholding the Law

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Let's take in a trial."

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

Donald Trump

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."