Courtroom Junkie T-Shirts

"Bad news, good news, sweetheart - the court rejected your appeal, but the networks are fighting to option it."

Trial by Media

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Bailiff."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'