Courtroom Junkie T-Shirts

"Bad news, good news, sweetheart - the court rejected your appeal, but the networks are fighting to option it."

Trial by Media

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Bailiff."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'