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Extreme Lawyering

Trial by Media

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"Bailiff."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'