Trendy Styles T-Shirts

Whatever.

"I knew it was time to get dark and edgy way before 'Batman' and 'Twin Peaks.'"

"Knees peeking out of jeans are sexy, but what would you know?"

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Rap music

'Dogs Home is it, mate?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Men's business romper.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Jeans sale

Can I get you another coffee?

Back To School Supplies.

Fashionista

Wine Bar, "Am I not the most fashionable lounge lizard about town ?"

'Your father says he'll stop wearing his pants like that when you do.'

'This'll get more attention than that silly salad they named after you.'

"Of course I'm familiar with crop tops. It's just the crop bottoms, not so much."

'Why do you have your hat on backwards?'

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

"I'll be glad to see the back of winter - I'm sick of having to wear so much on a night out."

"I'm on Fendi and Prada, and heading toward Louis."

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

'These kids today look absolutely ridiculous.'

Man has chains on him, along with his pet dog and a fire plug.

I love coloured tights

'Cargo Cult' (a man kneeling before a pair of cargo trousers in a shop window).