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"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Wifi in Hell

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Men's business romper.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Rap music

"An everything Martini, please."

Vivienne Westwood

Spontaneous Kombucha

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"That's very offensive."

Upper East Side Dog Park

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Hoxton map.

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Can I get you another coffee?

Jeans sale

Back To School Supplies.

Wine Bar, "Am I not the most fashionable lounge lizard about town ?"

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

Fashionista

"Oh, no - not another theme pub!"

'Your father says he'll stop wearing his pants like that when you do.'

'This'll get more attention than that silly salad they named after you.'

"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"

Pop up hell

"Of course I'm familiar with crop tops. It's just the crop bottoms, not so much."

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."