Trendy Foods Pillows

Pop up hell

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

It was an unlikely relationship from the beginning and doomed to failure once the novelty wore off."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Queen of Quinoa

All Natural Nothing

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Is the MSG local?"

Rap music

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"That's very offensive."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Fridge-to-table"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."