Trending Foods Pillows

"Not gelato – hummus."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

See you at the farmers market!

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Queen of Quinoa

All Natural Nothing

"Is the MSG local?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Fridge-to-table"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

The Pumpkin Spice Routes

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."