Food Trend Follower Pillows

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

"Before consuming as directed, Millennial Alice needed assurance 
that they would not disturb her gut health."

'Today the danger of eating eggs is up 2 3/8, red meat is unchanged French fries are up 4 1/4...'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, Veal Stock

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

"It was inevitable – health food junk food."

"And this is where we began labelling our products 'plant-based'."

Queen of Quinoa

Food that were good for you.

'OK, everyone say 'ultra-pasteurized, ninety-eight perfect fat free, slices of vegan, gluten free cheeeeeeese!''

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

All Natural Nothing

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

See you at the farmers market!

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."