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"Herbert! You don't know how to order here! It's a different language...they'll eat you alive!"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"A table in Siberia, please."

Picasso

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

'Your bill sir.'

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"What's trending?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

Ordinarily I'd suggest we'd talk our way out...If only we weren't so God damn tasty!

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."