Trend Warrior Gifts

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

La Table

Bad hair day!

'She's so put together!'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Men's business romper.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Studies show foods work miracles!

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

A Macaroni in 1772

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Keeping warm.

Rap music

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Emergency Hipster Beard