Trendwatcher Gifts

What's the best way to groom a neck-beard? Um

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

'Mon Dieu! This year, your collection is really daring, mon cher Karl!'

Giraffe Selfie

"What are you doing?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'What's this I hear about you going long?'