Tactical Trendsetter Gifts

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

La Table

Bad hair day!

'She's so put together!'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Mac OS 20

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Men's business romper.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

A Macaroni in 1772

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Keeping warm.

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

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