Tree Swinger Gifts

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Lady of the bath...

Golfing Bishop.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

'Welcome to Heaven. By the way, here's your favorite club you lost on that course 28 years ago.'

"But I use all of them!"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Thursday is the new Friday

Ozone layer claims another victim.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Swinging through the jungle.

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

Camouflage Unit

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

King Richard I

Welcome to Kew Gardens

'Yes, this is the most direct offsetting of carbon emissions I've seen.'

'It's very nice, dear, but it's still not as lovely as a tree.'

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

Jazz musician playing double bass. A cool seagull wearing sunglasses stands atop the instrument.

Changing house name.

Thanks God!

"Yes, I did mention that I wanted a big Christmas tree. However, I doubt that will fit in our home."

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

Hockey Goal

"That is so adorable. The tree is hugging you back!"