Travel Warrior Gifts

'Jet lag.'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Excess Baggage: The airlines will hold your connecting flight just long enough so you can watch it leave without you.

Thru versus Through Traffic

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Welcome to Stratford-On-Avon...Birthplace of William Shakespeare...Park not here, lest ye be towed!

'Are we there yet?'

Airplane Mode.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

Vaccination Passport

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.