Travel Security Buff Gifts

Opt Out of Body Scans and Pat Downs - Fly Nude.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

High security Santa's grotto

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Be open to help.

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

The Best Defense

Western Outfitters.

"Oh, it was lovely down there. Two golf courses, miles of unspoiled beaches, an air of quiet elegance..."

Aggression/Security

'That last hill was a bit steep!'

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

Statue of liberty selfie

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

Bird sitting on a wing.

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"When we're not hibernating, I've gone ahead and listed our cave as an Airbnb."

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

Pamplona Station

Biro Security

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar