Travel Documentary Filmmaker Gifts

Anthony Bourdain with Chopsticks

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Kirsten Johnson

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

Airplane food

Crocodile

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Police film evidence

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Leaning Tower of Pisa

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and Rachel took the one less traveled... Huge mistake."

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

Have you considered a career in travel brochures?

'What do you mean you 'forgot' the camera?!'

The Adventures of Tom Friedman, Boy Reporter

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

A fly on the wall documentary.

'I still say these shots need more action.'

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'