Trashman Gifts

Quit Hogging the Job

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'I found the termites!'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Worker ant's To Do list.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

Rubbish and Everest

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

Dustbin monster.

'I need to learn a trade... so I know what kind of work I'm out of.'

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

Environmental Conscience

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."