Transportation Humor Fan Gifts

'I can't wait until my son asks to use the car!'

You want a scary Christmas story? I'll tell you how much my rail fare was to get here.

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Can I have a look at the map?

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

Traffic Jam

Do not pass.

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Slow, Men at Work.

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

'It's my prostate.'

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

'Finally!'

Gift shop in casino caters to winners and losers.

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

Excess Baggage: By the end of your cruise vacation, your clothes seem to have shrunk for no reason.

H.M.Customs 'Nothing to declare' 'Articles to declare' 'Genius to declare'

Tipperary: Long way and short way.

'How much is that doggie in the window?' - Dogs in Amsterdam

"We aim to make every event on this cruise pleasurable, sir!" (lifebuoy with duck head on it).

Lincoln Lane