Transactional Philosopher Gifts

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

Worked Well In Groups...

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

Computer help.

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

I think therefore I am.

Domestic Spying Drones

Information about information about information about information.

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

Artificial intelligence discovers racism

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

Primordial Schmooze

"The secret is to ask yourself: what would someone who's successful do?"

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

Who's In Charge Here?

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'And to think I was worried it'd be lonely at the top!'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'