Technology Philosopher Gifts

'The internet has made me a more critical thinker. I'm critical of everything I see on it.'

"...How do you feel about anyone anywhere having access to your data?"

'What disturbs me most is the growing impersonality of daily life.'

Welcome to Heaven! Please Leave Your Phone Here. . .

Ode to Nature.

"You can keep it, but there are no charging stations."

"Sorry, but a context-free emoticon isn't all that helpful."

"Yes, the meaning of life is...just a moment, I really should take this!"

Modern Slavery

"In my day, we didn't come home from school early because the computers were down."

"Isn't technology great? We can see beheadings, homeless war refugees, citizens versus cops, fraternity lunch mobs, and government shut downs in hi-def."

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

"I’ve only been able to find movies, music, and restaurants that I kind of like using apps, but I’m hoping they’ll lead me to the love of my life."

Assisted dying app

"Apparently we missed out on the window of opportunities for bio-technologies."

Computer help.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"