Trainee Nurse Gifts

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

"They look so young and helpless."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

'Virtual patient.'

"...Should nurses wages be forgot..."

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

"Q3, If you had to live on �381 per month, would you a)laugh b)cry c)both"

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

Survey says there are still a quarter of trainee GPs to stay in full-time clinical work

"I know you're new to the job, Ms. Jones, but the correct term is 'stat'... not 'move your ass'!"

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

Do as many study days as you can

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

He's working his way up to lions!

"Is it a BIRD?...Is it a PLANE?...No it's the new student nurse from the Marsden ward."

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."