Target Trainee Gifts

"Are you sure? He looks harmless."

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Targets.

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'How are we going to achieve our goal this year?'

NHS targets.

"We need to do a little better job of hitting our target."

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

"I met all my projections. Thank goodness I set the bar low."

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Stun-gun target practice.

'Virtual patient.'

"Next!"

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

Do as many study days as you can

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'

He's working his way up to lions!

Young Robin Hood at Scout Camp

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"I know this sounds like a line, but nice shooting."