Teacher Trainee Gifts

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

A Puppet Named Juan

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

The Ideal Teacher.

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

'Virtual patient.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

Teacher appreciation then...and teacher appreciation now.

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

Teacher.

Survey says there are still a quarter of trainee GPs to stay in full-time clinical work

"I know you're new to the job, Ms. Jones, but the correct term is 'stat'... not 'move your ass'!"

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

He's working his way up to lions!

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

Do as many study days as you can

"It's quite obvious that you're not a team player."

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'