Train Etiquette Enthusiast Pillows

"You ain't gitting on this train until I git off first."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

A trevor of trainspotters

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

'He's been back packing around India and doesn't he want everyone to know it.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'...but there MUST have been something about a rail go-slow on 'News at Ten'?'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"XIVth Street"

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'Don't get up!'

The next fast train has gone.