Railway Etiquette Enforcer Pillows

Lynching on social media

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

'Don't get up!'

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"Gesundheit!"

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'May I recommend the red wine?'

'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"I'd like you two to meet Will and Diane Clampett. Will is the powerful chairman and chief executive officer of a large multinational corporation, and Diane is his passive-aggressive wife."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

'Is it okay to drink red wine in brown shoes?'

"To save everyone from suffering in polite restraint, I shall eat the last slice."

'Well, I for one do not believe common courtesy to the host demands deck shoes.'

'That's enough, thank you.'

Traddles and I in conference with the Misses Spenlow

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

"I've warned you about your offensive touching. Keep your hands off your face!"

Man of refinement trying to teach a street salesman to say 'asparagus' rather than 'sparrow-grass'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'