Traffic Report Junkie Gifts

'It's thought that icy road conditions were a contributing factor.'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

New Road Signs to Watch For:

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

I can't believe what I see phobia. 'This is your new flying traffic reporter. I think I'm dreaming.'

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

"It's a nice invention, but what about GRIDLOCK?"

Desert Island Roundabout

Practice random turn signals & senseless acts of braking.

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

Now entering new york city... move it, a*****e!

'Bad pile up at the 6:30 Aerobics class today. If you're exercising, better take take the stationary bike or stair-master.'

"Be careful folks—The roads are wet and idiots are driving on them."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

Freeways in the Supermarket

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

London Welcomes Carfull Drivers

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Play Rush Hour

'Where'd you learn to drive!?'

"This is the worst parade ever."

Roadworks: Your City Thanks You!

This is News Six reporting from the New Jersey Turnpike. Southbound traffic is at a standstill. Now back to the newsroom.

"I think he's saying keep apart two chevrons."

Pensioner on a mobility scooter who leaves run over pedestrians in his wake has a sign reading 'How's my driving?'

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

'They had the idea to fix the roads by killing mass transits.'

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'