Traffic Noise Aficionado Gifts

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

Dog Crossing

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Family traits.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"You know damn well what noise!"

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Library Grand Opening

(Road sign arrow.) As geez, we're merging down to one plain.

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Playing dustbins

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

Communication

'Please. Don't get me started.'

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. II

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"

'Warning! Signs damaged by careless drivers or vandals will NOT be replaced!'

'Your parrot is driving me crazy.'

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"