Traffic Law Enthusiast Pillows

"I've heard some lame excuses in my time, but "I'm only 7" takes the cake."

"When I asked to see your licence I meant your driving licence, not your dog licence."

'So then. The handsome p.c. noticed that the tax disc on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage was well out of date.'

"You were doing the speed limit. I found that suspicious."

Lawyer Xing

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'

Watch out for the traffic rules! Especially in other countries!

Speed Rump

"Even if you are a right-leaning individual, Sir, you still need a functioning left turn signal."

At the gallery of Fine Art.

'The city spends millions a year on traffic lights. Since you're always complaining about taxes, you'd think you'd at least obey them.'

Red faced man looking unwell whilst driving a car in bad weather with a bottle

'If you can read this you're too close.'

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

"But officer, how can I have done anything wrong, I'm New Labour"

'Well, the speed limit was 75 yesterday.'

'That's right, I am lying - but at least let me finish!'

Panhandler meters: 'Need more change to keep this spot.'

'I've got to hang up now, There's someone at the door.'

New Road Signs to Watch For:

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

'On the Highway of Life, Broderick Crawford is always pulling me over.'

"I believe you to be over our new drink-drive limits, and require you to blow into this..!"

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

All-way stops.

Tomorrow would be a lucrative day foe the Indianapolis Police Department.

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'