Traffic Analysis Gifts

Id/Ego/Superego.

Thru versus Through Traffic

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Quality Control

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Monday: Next 7 exits.

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Traffic Management Strategic Group

One way only.

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

The Forever Stamp

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866 - 1957...inventor of Asphalt

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

A doorman fires a gun into the air.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

Cake Walk.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

'It's a slow trap.'

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Attention: Speed Troughs

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.