Tradesman Gifts

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'I found the termites!'

'So that's what it's for Ethel. It's somewhere to put their spirit level

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Mixed Ability Brown, Landscape Gardener

'It's a quote from the builder...he says that the ?8500 will just about cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!'

'What do you mean, 'you can't fit me in until next month'?... This is your house!'

'Oh yes, Leonard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

'As it's immoral to pay cash, I've baked you a cake.'

Celebrity Cowboy Builders - As exposed on TV.

'Just a minute. How can I be sure you're not one of those 'cowboy builders'? '

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

Workman baptising his child J.C.B.

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"I think the plumber wants his bill paid!"

'I have some plaster left over. Do you want me to fill that crack?'

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

'I found the termites!'

The Meditating Electrician

'The plumber will be with you in between 5 and 1000 working days...'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

Hibernating bears in airing cupboard.

'Oh yes, Leomard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

'It'll flush fine now - once you get the knack of it.'

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

Plumbers Workwear

Spot the ballcock

'My dog is terrified of strangers. would you be a dear and wear this outfit while you're working here?'

Tools

'Thank heaven's there are no cameras around. This would surely go viral.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'