Trademark Lawyer Gifts

"I'm afraid, Inspector, this means that everybody and everything in the country has been copyrighted."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"What's a patent?"

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Sue the Author 3PM

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"Tariffs"

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Plagiarist!"

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Intellectual Property

JET (Part I)

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

The Economy of Ideas

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'It's okay, they're with me.'

Copyrighted Ideas

Copyright and copyleft

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. The alphabet invention is great. We should copyright it!

Patents office

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"Or perhaps we could just have them wear these 'M-for-Muslim' patches...."

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.