Trademark Issues Gifts

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Intellectual Property

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Keystone XL

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

"No, Henry, don't do it ... we own the intellectual content!"

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

Hands off my IP

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

'It's too late to copyright 'Have a nice day.''