Trademark Defender Gifts

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Intellectual Property

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

"Countless observations and calculations based on the scientific method led me to the conclusion that the center of the universe is not planet earth, but. . ."

Big business is not evil

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

Man with Sword in Penholder

You can have your privacy back, as soon as I've finished showing it to everyone

'Herbert's security hookup lets him make sure no one took over his desk while he's on vacation.'

'I am an unhappy employee.'

Job Stress.

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

"Careful!—she'll become enraged if she senses the slightest threat to her clients."

"You're onto something very big. Don't let the company get its hands on it."

'The Tooth Fairy and her evil twin, the Sweet-Tooth Fairy.'

'Promise me one thing, Lorraine... you won't tell my friends we met at a church picnic?'

"OK! OK! I get the message! Your recliner, not mine!"

Meeting view zone. Non-meeting zone.

"I'm afraid, Inspector, this means that everybody and everything in the country has been copyrighted."

The day begins at the copyright office - "Morning Jeff(TM)"...

"Very impressive, but not quite the 'in-tray test' we had in mind."

'I'm a lawyer acting for your company.If you don't give me Mrs Smith's date of birth and NI number the case will collapse and you'll be in a lot of trouble!'

'Yes, I have some time but it's on retainer to a very big corporate client.'

"Not now, I'm on my break."

The dominant male leaves a pungent marker to identify his territory. It's a warning to others...keep away!

'Your content is protected by copyright laws and a complete lack of interest.'