Patent Defender Gifts

"You're onto something very big. Don't let the company get its hands on it."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Patents office.

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'It's okay, they're with me.'

Money Tree

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'Hey, get out of my space!'

The world of surveillance.

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

Patents office

"Calls may be monitored because, frankly, we live in a surveillance society due to terrorism."

USA 2030

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"It's going to be my revolutionary triple blade design"

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

1 message reviewed by NSA.

'No, actually THIS invented me!'

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.