Town Crier Gifts

'Whose shout is it?'

'Placido Do-min-go!'

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"

Fashionable intelligence - 'Oh! here's a go! blowed if I ain't lost my ring!'

'Must we go through this charade everytime the semi-skimmed gets spilled?'

'Just the job for you, my love.'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Now it fits.'

"They’re real."

Pull the udder one

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'Mama! Aliens.'

We come in pieces!

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

Bonsai Exhibit

Hanukkah tree

'How come they know where we are when we don't.'

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

'Your barn door's open.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"So, you're staying in then?"

'My needles are falling! My bark is peeling! I must have Dutch Elm Disease!'