City Communicator Gifts

"Greetings, residents of Newark. This is an automated message from City Hall with three important points of information regarding tomorrow's expected snow emergency: 1. Cars parked on snow emergency routes after 3 p.m. will be towed. 2. Scheduled trash pickup for tomorrow will take place the following date. 3. There will be free hot chocolate for women at 509 Dingleberry Street, Home of the Fusco Brothers."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Inclusive speech

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Woman followed by devices.

The Milky Way (Detail)

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Aluminium Henge

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

Antler Buzzers.

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

'How fast can you hype?'