Town Crier T-Shirts

'Whose shout is it?'

'Placido Do-min-go!'

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"

Fashionable intelligence - 'Oh! here's a go! blowed if I ain't lost my ring!'

'Must we go through this charade everytime the semi-skimmed gets spilled?'

'Just the job for you, my love.'

London Town Crier

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Now it fits.'

"They’re real."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Pull the udder one

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

We come in pieces!

'Mama! Aliens.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Bonsai Exhibit

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Hanukkah tree

'How come they know where we are when we don't.'

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

'Your barn door's open.'