Cinema Crier Gifts

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Horror movies

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Bloody hell!"

'There's nothing on.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"The Eggsorcist"

Applause

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"Hugh fans!"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Housekeeping?!"

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"