Tournament Insider Gifts

LIV golf

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Cheerleaders

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'The music business.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in Korea, customer support will be run from Mumbai and logistics handled in Vietnam."

Captive Audience.

Golf

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

The Joust

'Acme Meat - meat products, bi-products, and bi-product spinoffs...'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."

The Kavec Corp - A wholly owned (but nevertheless on good terms with) subsidiary of T4 industries.