Tournament Insider Gifts

LIV golf

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Cheerleaders

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Supermarket Merge

Competitive tic-tac-toe

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'The music business.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

The Unbearableness of Being Inanimate

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in Korea, customer support will be run from Mumbai and logistics handled in Vietnam."

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

The Joust

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

'Acme Meat - meat products, bi-products, and bi-product spinoffs...'

Captive Audience.

Golf

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."