Tournament Analyst Gifts

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Other Cooperstown

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Centaur Forward

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Nice tackle, Dewey! You knocked the fur ball out of him!'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Wilfried Zaha

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Lost Season

Basketball.

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."