Game Analyst Gifts

'No, Joyce, it's not over yet. ... And for the last time, I have no idea who's going to win - it's a seesaw battle.'

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'Then I remarked how good it was that the linebacker faked the blitz then dropped back into coverage. You should have seen his face. It was like I'd taken away his G.I Joe and put a dress on it.'

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'

'I can't find anything against it in the rule book!'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Cricket Accidents.

The Other Cooperstown

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Centaur Forward

'...I don't like your chances!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

Wilfried Zaha

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

Lost Season

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'